Every night after I go to bed, I listen carefully to some of the sounds I cherish most. Whether it's the sound of swords clashing or upbeat theme music, the swooshes, chimes, and clangs of my husband's video games create the soundtrack to my nights, and I welcome them with joy. Because every time you hear a beep, you know there's still time left. Time to stream one more episode, do one more Hannibal Lecter-esque red light mask session, or more likely, read one more chapter of the book.
And we're not the only ones who have settled for this easy nighttime deal. Once vilified as a dumb, brain-dead couch zombie, Gamer Boyfriend is on the cusp of an image recovery, thanks to a reader's girlfriend who takes the story back. Over the past year or so, people have flocked to TikTok to share the little joys of the reader's girlfriend and gamer boyfriend's relationship, and for good reason.
The core of their celebratory zeal is to ensure uninterrupted time to cuddle up with literary entertainment while their partner loses themselves in the electronic world for hours on end, creating a separate world for both to enjoy together. . But what makes them such a complementary pairing, and what can everyone else learn from their cozy bliss?
“I think there's something magical about being able to experience the story of your choice and do it in a space with your loved ones.”
First, these couples probably weren't attracted to each other by chance. “We have very similar hobbies, so I think it's a way for us to empathize with each other without having to do exactly the same things,” says Joshi, 25, a Los Angeles resident who also shares a gaming and reading relationship. Angeles.
Beyond both mediums sharing complex plots, rich story worlds, and fascinating characters, there are practical considerations that explain why these two hobbies click. First, unlike something like a sporting event that starts and ends at a specific time, both activities can scale up or down to fit the allotted time. Both can be done comfortably in a small space at home.
However, this ease and convenience does not come naturally. For Joshi, it took a bit of a learning curve to master this dynamic with her husband. “At first, it became a little bit of an issue between us because if I interrupted a match he would get a little bit churlish. And I couldn't understand why he bit me, so , that upset me,” she explains. But after talking about it, she realized that he just doesn't have the ability to focus on multiple stimuli at once. As frustrating as it was for him, it wasn't her personal attack on him. Now she doesn't get so upset.
Josephine, 28, of East Grand Forks, Minn., also had concerns early on. In her youth, her husband could play video games from morning until night if he had the chance. “She was worried about what kind of father he would be because she didn't want a father who would sit around playing games all day,” she says. Thankfully, that hasn't happened since I welcomed my girlfriend's daughter. He adjusted his game playing time to his new responsibilities admirably.
According to Israa Nasir, communication is the key to mastering this dynamic and truly reaping the benefits of alone time. The psychotherapist and author explains that a healthy relationship requires time with your partner, time with your social network, and, of course, time alone. “Alone time helps you figure out how to calm yourself down, how to entertain yourself, and how to work on yourself,” Nasir says, adding that it helps you reduce stress and clarify your thoughts. It added that it can help to relieve and even relieve. Resentment towards your partner.
This is an important skill to get used to. “When we don't know how to spend time on our own, we tend to rely on others to meet certain emotional needs,” she says. The key, she says, is that you both need to agree on the parameters of alone time, which makes sense. Even if one party feels abandoned and ignored in order to spend time alone, they are unlikely to be able to recover from it.
“[My husband] He told me he loves hearing me talk about my book because I'm so excited and so into it. ”
For those who can communicate and agree, gamers and readers alike have proven to have many benefits. Joci found that enjoying these activities right before bed recharged her energy, resulting in a more peaceful bedtime together. Josephine has found that it also helps with communication overall. After finishing her hobby, they often gather in the kitchen and her husband tells her about his day. Her time apart, she says, makes her more open to listening and him more willing to share.
Alone time doesn't necessarily have to be enjoyed elsewhere. Maranda, 30, of Seattle, Washington, has been living with her boyfriend for about two years. She says both hobbies keep them in each other's physical orbit. “I think there's something magical about being able to experience the story of your choice and be able to do it in a space with her loved ones,” she says.
However, if you need a quiet environment to concentrate on entertainment, this method may not be for you, especially since video games can have unexpected sound effects. “I can't even count how many times he started screaming. I was so lost in my own world that I was really scared,” Josephine says with a laugh.
But if any two activities, say building a ship in a bottle or crocheting, can provide this relaxing respite, why is the relationship between reader and gamer elevated to the status of a meme? Did it resonate with a lot of people? After all, there might be something a little special about sharing compatible and similar hobbies with your partner. “You can enter your partner's world of pleasure, one that is purely theirs, which adds even more depth and intimacy,” says Nasir.
And many expressed how fun it was to learn more about the games their partner played and share that world with them, and vice versa. “[My husband] He told me he loves hearing me talk about my book because I'm so excited and so into it. I think he just likes hearing me explain things that I'm passionate about,” says Joshi.
Perhaps this particular hobby combination has been around for decades, but there may be one final reason why it's only now gaining recognition. “I think part of the reason this topic has become so popular is because there's been this kind of negative atmosphere in the conversation around reading and gaming for a long time…They're considered nerdy hobbies, 'not that cool.' “It was considered a hobby,” Maranda said. But in a post-pandemic world, as we learn to stay at home, as BookTok gathers a rabid fan base, and as Twitch streamers make a living playing video games, popular The tide may be changing to something more popular. I can relate.
Happy and fulfilling relationships may be an otaku's true revenge.
