Dear Kim
I have been cyberstalked for 3 years. I recently realized it was my roommate. Even though I moved, he attacked me again.
He's connected to me and my fiance's cell phones, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, everything. He stole my financial data, photos, deleted my accounts, hijacked my email, and harassed me via VOIP. The message will disappear.
My fiance's cell phone was wiped. The text message never reaches its destination because he forwarded our contact number.
A former roommate admitted to sitting outside the house all night – I thought he might be spying on me.
Now I know he was accessing my Wi-Fi too.
Many years of my life have been ruled by fear, anger, sadness, and confusion. We can't afford it, and we don't have the resources to hire people. I really need professional advice/help as I can't do this anymore.
— PW from Oklahoma
Dear PW,
This is really terrible. These three crazy years must feel like a lifetime. If you haven't already, you really, really need to call the police. No other reason than to officially record this. Your local police department should have someone you can talk to about this absolutely creepy experience you and your fiance had.
I'm sorry if I couldn't help you in any way I could have. Knowing who to turn to in situations like this is one of the worst parts. There's no number to call – that's why you're calling me. I've heard it from many people in the same place over the years.
There's good news and bad news. The good news is there's a lot you can do right now to keep this bastard out and stop it from invading your digital life. The bad news is that it's a lot of work. But I guarantee you it's worth it. And it's much better than sitting around wondering what he'll do next.
start with a list
What accounts, passwords, and devices do you think he has access to? Sit down and make a list of everything you can think of.
Check your browser's saved passwords for hints. Sign out of each account and change your password on each device one at a time. A password manager allows you to generate new, strong passwords that no one can guess.
Here's a list to get you thinking
● All email accounts you have.
● Bank or other financial site
● Social media
● Cloud storage such as Apple, Google Drive, Dropbox, or online backup accounts.
●Online shopping site
Here are steps to change your password for some major sites, including Amazon, Netflix, Facebook, and Spotify.
replace the router with a new one
So many people forget how much information the person who knows the login to their router has. In theory, you could see what you're doing online and what devices are connected.
It is especially dangerous. This allows a stalker to know, for example, if you are at home and using the Internet from your mobile phone.
You can probably get around this by doing a factory reset, but if your router is more than two years old, you'll need to replace it anyway.
Change your device passcode
Don't forget your phone passcode and your computer or tablet password. Yes, stalkers need physical access to get into these devices, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
● On iPhones with Face ID,[設定]>[Face ID とパスコード]Go to. On iPhones with a home button,[設定]>[Touch ID とパスコード]Go to.
● To change your iCloud password, you must change your Apple ID password. On your iOS device,[設定]>[設定]Go to. [your name] > Password and Security > Change Password.
● On Android smartphones,[設定]>[セキュリティ]Open. To change your passcode, tap Screen Lock. note:[セキュリティ]If you can't find the screen lock settings on your phone, find instructions on your phone's support site or online manual.
● On a Windows PC,[スタート]>[設定]>[アカウント]>[サインイン オプション]Go to. Click Password, then click Change.
● To change your Mac password, proceed to step 1 here.
From security cameras to smart speakers, accessing the right accounts can allow someone to see and eavesdrop on you without your knowledge.
Don't forget your smart devices
From security cameras to smart speakers, accessing the right accounts can allow someone to see and eavesdrop on you without your knowledge.
Do this for security systems, smart thermostats, Amazon Alexa accounts (if you have one), smart doorbells, and other internet-connected devices that have their own standalone accounts.
become a liar
When you're close to someone, they know you well. That might include where you grew up, your first car, your mother's maiden name, etc… Yeah, you know where I'm going.
These are common security questions. Once you answer, anyone will have access to your account, regardless of whether you shared it or not.
Log into sites that contain sensitive personal information, such as bank, medical, or financial accounts. Find your security questions in your settings or account menu and change your answers.
Pro tip: Falsify your new answer. Most of the default secret question details are surprisingly easy for others to find. Now let's create something new. The caveat, of course, is to remember to lie.
Dear Kim
I've been using my company-issued laptop for work as well as for personal purposes such as Facebook, X, TikTok, shopping, email, looking up medical information, and very private and potentially embarrassing things. Ta.
I'm starting to wonder what our IT department can actually see on this device. Can they access my browsing history, personal files, etc? Are there any laws that prohibit companies from doing this? I'm looking for a simple explanation of what they can and cannot see. Masu.
Indeed, the IT guy looks at me strangely, like he knows something that could get me in trouble with my wife.
building in phoenix arizona
Hello Bill
I have bad news for you. Your IT department can see what you're doing on your company's devices and network. You are not paranoid.
If your company hands you a laptop, you should be wise and assume that by default they can see everything you do.
Act like your boss or spouse is right next to you, seeing what you search for, the sites you visit, and the information you enter.
Many companies install “bossware” programs. (More on this later.)
Currently, most small businesses only scrutinize all the data these programs collect when a problem occurs. In larger companies with more funds available, it may be automatic.
I don't know exactly what your company does, but you probably don't either. (Not so) fun fact: He's one of only four states that requires companies to disclose this kind of surveillance and get consent from employees. Those states are Connecticut, Delaware, Texas, and New York. There is no federal law requiring disclosure.
Still, I'd check the contract and employee manual. Look for the section on technology and devices.
How far does this kind of tracking go? So-called bossware programs allow employers to look into your call logs, text messages, emails, and what you're browsing on the Internet. The latest and greatest systems allow businesses to do more.
act as if the employer sees everything
● The websites you visit (such as frequency and duration).
● Downloaded files.
● Emails you send and receive (including attachments).
● Messages sent through messaging services such as Slack, Google Chat, and Microsoft Teams.
● When moving, accessing, modifying, or deleting shared files.
● What programs to use and for how long.
● Physical location based on the device's IP address.
In extreme cases, tracking goes deeper and includes:
● All keystrokes — yes, including passwords.
● Webcam footage.
So what should I do now? It's time for a digital cleanup.
● Clear your history: We recommend that you clear your browser history regularly. However, this does not prevent IT from seeing what users have accessed.
● Sign out of all personal accounts. Don't use email on your desktop or laptop at work. The same goes for company-issued phones. Carrying two copies of everything can be a hassle, but the privacy is worth it. Most of us do not consider everything we have to offer when opening access to a personal account.
● Delete your saved passwords: Are you lazy and storing your passwords in your browser or your company's password manager? Scrutinize and get rid of the ones that touch your personal life. If you used a browser, go to your settings and find your password.
Tip to the wise: If you use your Mac for work, don't sign in with your personal iCloud. When you sync, all the photos and files in your account will be synced to that machine.
