This is a review column.
“Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is not afraid cannot have courage. (He is also a fool.)” – Robert A. Heinlein
We'll see about that, Robert.
As you know, having writer's block can evoke all sorts of emotions. When the only errand required for your mission is to go for a walk and you can't seem to find your way home, a certain amount of panic sets in, perhaps sprinkled with a little fear.
Maybe it's just May, a quiet time on the calendar. Or maybe it's just a general lack of inspiration. It happens. But the show goes on. The internet never sleeps, so you need something to kill the next few minutes of office time.
What happens next requires a little courage. That's the courage it takes to say something unthinkably unpopular.
So nothing goes here.
Slump buster time.
That's enough talk about the EA Sports College Football 25 video game.
Everyone gets a little too excited when they see a video game cover. We're bending over backwards to promote this for free as if it solves a problem plaguing the real world of college football.
To be honest, it's probably going to be terrible.
It doesn't live up to the hype only to let you down.
I heard it here for the first time. Screenshot this and email it to your future self.
“When you're struggling on an exhausting hike through a creative desert, voice as many unpopular opinions as you can.” — Apparently it's me.
Please join us for a few more lines. This might be a topic of conversation somewhere.
But EA Sports has been making monsters out of so many people, attacking every scrap since the NIL enabled the resurgence of video games.
After 10 years of a supposedly productive life, the hand of nostalgia is tightening on all the siblings my wife thought she had grown up with.
By Friday, the overlords of EA will reveal all the features that will send thousands of people into their basements screaming at strangers in gamer headsets at 3 a.m. or at daycare pick-up time. , all commerce will slow down. probably.
“This guy sucks.” – You.
But seriously, so will this game. The geek nirvana of your fantasies might look like steak or lobster, but it's probably more akin to a McDonald's soft-serve ice cream machine.
The server will feature a game room similar to Bourbon Street of Joy. No one is in a hurry to go anywhere and everyone is a little confused.
All the soccer video gamers I know say that nothing good has happened in this area in recent years, so why do you think this is any different?
There are going to be worse glitches than Dabo Swinney looking for portal passwords.
Here's a list of things you can do instead of playing EA Sports College Football 25, released on July 19th.
- Plant a garden.
- Play lawn darts.
- Get your local librarian fired.
- Take a walk.
- Join Birmingham's Citizen Watch Patrol.
- Read AL.com.
- Please read aloud to your child.
- Replant the garden that failed the first time.
- anything else.
I know it sounds harsh, but I'm doing this for you. To avoid disappointment come July.
And you save hundreds of dollars knowing they won't send you into bankruptcy.
Be violent if necessary. Please call my name on the internet.
Let's say I'm a joy thief trying to ruin one of the only universally welcomed pieces of news in years.
Call me a clown quoting science fiction author Robert A. Heinlein, after searching for quotes on Google for the courage to break through writer's block with the most unpopular interpretation possible.
All true.
But I know I'm at least somewhat right.
Catch up on the hustle and bustle of the zombie era with EA's Altar. But it's not over anymore. “In the game.”
It won't be the same either.
Don't say that clown who forgot how to write didn't warn you.
Michael Casagrande is a reporter with Alabama Media Group. Follow him on Twitter @Casagrande or Facebook.
