It's no secret that the video game industry has been devastated over the past year, and after four months of investigation, we can confidently report: Baratoro He is the only video game developer left.
It's a complicated situation, of course, but the main reason localthunk, developer of the hit poker-inspired roguelike deck-building game, is the only remaining game creator is likely because all the other developers are dead.
The main culprit is Microsoft, which reported a net profit of $21.9 billion in the second quarter of 2024. According to sources, Microsoft Flight Simulator 40Number anniversary The company required Activision Blizzard's development team to use the software for an hour, then test their piloting skills in a real-world environment – most of the test participants crashed immediately and died on impact. Overwatch The team's whereabouts are unknown, but they were last seen somewhere in the area bounded by Florida, Puerto Rico and Bermuda.
A reporter asked localthunk when the mobile version would be released. BaratoroEspecially now that he's the last person left making video games.
“Sorry, where did you get that industry information? A lot of developers were fired, but not killed. I was just talking to a friend today who worked at Activision Blizzard,” localthunk responded.
In Ubisoft, humanity's worst fears become reality when an AI NPC achieves transcendence, and just like in the Johnny Depp movie of the same name, the NPC gains the ability to control the minds of Ubisoft developers using nanoparticles. In order to get his life back (though the definition of “life” in this case is certainly open to deep philosophical debate), the NPC recreates the 1991 Psygnosis game. Lemmings And it pushed the Ubisoft developers off a cliff.
“Edmund McMillen is still around, that's for sure,” Localthink said, speaking about the challenge of making enough video games as the industry's sole developer. “His new game is… Mugenixscheduled for release in 2025!
Perhaps the most tragic situation occurred at Square Enix's Los Angeles offices, where company executives locked all the doors, barricaded the windows, and demanded that developers kill each other until only one remained. According to multiple inside sources, the only survivor was localthunk, who, interestingly, says he doesn't play poker.
“I've never even worked at Square Enix,” localthunk says. Baratoro Nominated for Game of the Year. “I explained the movie. The Belco Experiment? “
At the time of writing, crews were sifting through the excrement of a wild boar herd, searching for traces of the Electronic Arts game developers.
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