That day started from here Kotaku Fast forward to 2022. very first post I wrote that there is an image of a character similar to me at the top.it was my custom V cyberpunk 2077He has appeared on this site several times as I have covered this and that game. phantom liberty expansion. But he's not the only one who looks like me. Kotaku It's been a year and a half since we opened our homepage.my baldur's gate 3 warlock, street fighter 6 Avatarand dragons dogma 2 Arisen All appear in Kotaku Since coming here. hell, my Pokemon character Looks like a younger version of me. If you're annoyed by seeing so many bald or bearded gay men, KotakuTop page, don't worry. Every editor I've worked with here has asked me at least once not to use my avatar in every article I submit. my friends also do horrible things to me.
But if a game like Why do all my characters look like me? baldur's gate 3 will give it to me So many options to create your character Why do I always default to playing myself when I'm of a different race, class, and background? Just by experiencing the game through my own eyes, I realize the rich possibilities created by these developers. Are you denying it to yourself? Well, for me, branching paths and options are something I want to learn about. rear Playing the game for the first time. Games have become, first and foremost, a space for me to explore my own identity, values, and decisions. Everything else is additional.
It's worth noting how easy it is for me to do this.As a white person with no hair or beard, I'd be hard-pressed to find a game that didn't have the options I needed to create my own digital facsimile, but I know plenty of people of color who ran for office, but the character creator to the problem with Mismatched skin color and hair texture. In fact, the biggest hurdle in building myself up in most games is that not every game allows me to be his 5'3″ short king (make me the little guy) Thank you Capcom for this) street fighter 6 and dragons dogma 2, however), but I get it to work.Even games like sonic force It doesn't allow me to make myself human, I give my farsona some defining clothes that make it clear who I am in that world. As for why I do this, like my therapist says about everything I do, making myself in every match is actually probably a trauma response.
One of the most formative internet spaces for me as a teenager was Now defunct BioWare forum. I was participating in these forums almost daily in 2009 and 2010. mass effect 2 It was coming out. The original game was my all-time favorite and helped me sort out my identity as a gay man. Naturally, as the sequel approached, I was combing through the forum word about whether the main character, Commander Shepard, could have a gay relationship this time around.This didn't happen until mass effect 3But I got to see the most vile homophobic rhetoric unfold. There, queer fans had to argue with some of the most stubborn bigots who tried to intellectualize, especially by excluding gay men.
I still remember how so many of the internet landscape were making such broad and sweeping proclamations about Commander Shepard's singular character. This was a main character that I purposely brought into existence to project all my values and personality onto, yet these homophobic bastards decided that every version of the First Man Spectre would be used as “evidence” in the game. He was aware of every interaction. Heterosexual. BioWare didn't help him during his worst online battles.
mass effect's The long battle to build inclusive relationships BioWare itself is the hero. “predefined” Heterosexual, even though it is otherwise made up entirely of player choice. The assertion that my Shepard wasn't gay like me made those games unsettling for me, to the point where I was so cautious about the decisions I made that I felt like I was gay. . actively rebel against the concept.
Finally, mass effect 3 came along and after two games of projecting an unrequited love story on the two of them, I was able to get Shepard to enter into a relationship with Major Kaidan Alenko. This experience of being told who my characters were and could be made me determined to never be in doubt again.Things have gotten slightly better since then mass effectBut gay men are still just an option, not the default, in AAA games. Often less love is given. For too long, it seems like these stories aren't about me, or that people like me have changed the way the game is played.
Games have become a tool for me Self-exploration, not world exploration.It's like I'm treating the game the same way I've always been went to another world Navigate into a new world, adjusting little by little to account for the story being told, as if you personally faced the same choices and challenges as the digital facsimile.
My version of V is cyberpunk 2077 I spent my whole life in the big city, Night City., but he still holds out my hope for a better, less dystopian future with the people he cares about. My Renegade Shepherd is the personification of my teenage angst. Mass Effect: Andromeda, my Pathfinder rider was able to embody my hopes for the future.my tab in baldur's gate 3 He has my self-destructive and hopeless love tendencies as he navigates his relationship with his patron and lover, Gail. My Pokemon trainer?I don't understand, he I like electric rats There are a lot of them, and most days they wear red beanies.
For me, creating a hero in a video game isn't about creating an original character and immersing yourself in a different identity. I leave behind a time capsule of who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. Each of the characters I left behind had hair on their heads, not just their faces, at some point in my life, when I was angry, when I was hopeful, or in some cases before 2018. It captures a moment in time. But through their stories, I painted my own.If I tried to live these stories, this is what they would look like my.
